Lost Cause
by Ally Bama
Summary: Lookie, I have things, come here things, strange, you look like a finger. Heero cut off his fingers, one by one by one...when they found him, Heero was no more then a puzzle. CHAPTER 2, Duo Maxwell losses his head.
1. Heero Yuy

Lost Cause  
  
Hey again! OK this is...different from what I usually write about well not really, Normal Living is kind of like this. But hey! If this is my first story you have read of mine please read my others. There all 1xR not many people like them any more...  
  
I got inspired to write this after reading "War" by Demoness Mark. Go read it, it's very good and is very different. I also got inspired by the song "Lost Cause" by Beck and you might see a quote or two from the song in these fic, anyway ONWARD!!  
  
Rating: Please don't read this if you don't like to talk/read about suicide, drugs, depression, mental illnesses, and or any other of the same topic. Please before reading this, it is extremely mature. Read, don't flame.  
  
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Chapter 1-Heero Yuy  
  
I sit. Every day I sit, watching the heat from the fake sun bake the fake ground in this fake place were I have a fake home. Yeah, I'm fake, what do you care?   
  
I watch. Damn do I see everything. I see the orphans dying from disease, looking for a place to sleep, to work, to steal from. I see the mother's hand that hits the child. I see the fighting between drunks, the helpless whores walking looking for a good ole' time. I see everything and more. I see the business man pick up the whores in a SUV with a baby-sit in the back. I see the drinks hurt other's for kicks. I see the orphans being slowing picked up to be killed, to go to church, to end up like us.  
  
Us. The Kamikaze 5. 5 of "us." 5 is just way to many. Nothing good ever comes from five. Add one more, there would be six. Look ma, I can add! Oh, wait, nevermind you aren't here. You never were. Where did you go? What did you do? I hope you had fun. I know I didn't. Were are you father? Don't you care that I'm a strong big boy? Don't you care that I know the difference between a .55 and a .5? Aren't you proud that I know how to blow shit up? Aren't you proud of your big boy? Guess not. The 5 of "us" damn, that's only 2 pair of parents. No wonder we are wanted dead. The "Shinigami." The Killer. The Pacifist. The Knowledge. The Silencer. That's 5, looked I did it again. I really should stop that, I might depress someone.   
  
Yup, we're wanted dead, or at least we want to die. When you sit for as long as we have sat, you have to be out of your mind. Maybe we shouldn't be known as "Shinigami", killer, pacifist, knowledge, silencer. Maybe The Druggie. The Schizo. The Popper. The Pyro. The Cutter. Those names fit us much better. We are no more then the underdogs.  
  
I have no more reason to seen as a hero. I have reduced myself to long days of listening to the "mes" in my head. To the voices that I was taught to ignore. Yes, people, here me. Your biggest "hero", the person that saved you meaningless lives, is no more then the person you lock up for being "mental." I am nether I nor me. Or maybe I'm a she? I have lost my identity long ago, I am no longer myself for I am everyone, and everyone is me.   
  
I've gotten tried of people in general. Maybe it's because deep down were all fake, and we are all no more then everyone else. I've served my purpose, I'm ready to go. Are is that we? That's what they say. We. I only want to be one.   
  
People say you can only love one person. Maybe that's why I can't love Relena, for I am more then one, I am me, you, him, her, old, new. I don't know who I am, and if myself don't know who I am how should she?   
  
It's time they tell me. Time for what? My last Will and Testament.   
  
I love no one, no one loves me. I can't find myself. I'm tired of fight, for nothing at all. I'll take my wounds, and walk to the door. My gun is no longer you're problem. There is to many people, in this crazy old town. One less, none lost. Yeah it's about time one of us went away.   
  
01, out...  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review please. ~Bama 


	2. Duo Maxwell

Lost Cause  
  
Hiya! Chapter 2, yeah! Um, about the grammar and spelling errors in here, It seems that my computer decided it didn't like Microsoft Word, so Gummpy (my computer) deleted it. @_@ I'm having to use Notepad right know in which it's a piece of CRAP!  
  
Oh it seems I forgot the Disclaimer last chapter, so he it is for the rest of the story.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I, Bama A.K.A Ally, does NOT own, has had owned, or well ever own, the creation of Gundam Wing, some Japanese man has all rights. I do own the Box Set, manga, picture book(s), CD, and the trading cards. BUT THEY'RE MINE! Go away!   
  
Warning: Heavy drug use, Suicide, depressing and dark, beware.  
  
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Chapter 2-Duo Maxwell  
  
Look the walls are spinning. Or maybe that's me. No, it's you. You spinning Hilde. Away, away.  
  
-Duo, Duo...? what did you do, Duo?  
  
Why is it me that always does everything wrong! Go away bitch. I didn't do it.  
  
Spinning. Spinning. Just keep spinning. Why is my hand so big? Come back here hand. Lookie, I have things, come here things, strange, you look like a finger. Heero cut off his fingers, one by one by one...when they found him, Heero was no more then a puzzle.   
  
-Duo? Duo! Open up the door Duo!  
  
Were did my sheep go? I can't find my bottle of sheep! Wait, here they are. They were hiding from me. Don't worry sheep here, you can hide in my stomach. Go feed off my hate...  
  
-Duo? Did you take my sleeping pills? There are none left.  
  
Eat your heart out, Heero! Your missing all the fun. Damn hippy just ran away...floating away...gone... You'll see, I am Shinigami, no law can keep me away from Hell. I'm in hell! Can you hear me! HELL!!!   
  
-DUO!!! Stop stealing all the medicines! Were is all that money going from the bank? Du---Oh my god! Duo! Wake up! DUO!! Wake up, wake up. Please...wake up Duo.  
  
Hilde-  
  
The world is spinning so fast. I slipped. And now I'm falling. have fun in hell Hilde.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review Please. ~Bama 


	3. Wufei Chang

Lost Cause  
  
Hey, this will probably be the hardest chapter to write. I keep on having to go back and study Wufei because truly I don't see him as important, but hey, people love him so I'll try my best to write this good.  
  
If you want a disclaimer go to chapter one.  
  
Wufei-Flamedancer  
  
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My toes were feeling numb. In fact, so is my whole body. I have been sitting in my room with lighters and matches since I learned of the death of Heero Yuy. I just received word 2 days, or was it 2? Anyway, I few days ago, that Duo died from to many drugs and to much alcohol mixing in his stomach. Since then I can only think about the pain that I had hidden for so long. Sally had made me go to their funerals. Heero's a closed-casket. Duo's was open. Relena wept hard at Heero's. She was the only one who got a letter from Heero. I have read the letter, it said something along the lines of I'm sorry I couldn't be there, I'm even more sorry for the trouble I've caused in your life. They told me to give this to you. Remember the time you had to cancel on me? It's a promise ring. Promise me to be strong. If you ever need help, Duo is always there.   
  
Now isn't that ironic, Duo is dead too.  
  
  
  
At Duo's funeral, we got to see his body, unlike Heero, who had only pieces of himself in the coffin. His hair was brushed back and had had a cross that dangled off the elastic that held it all together. Even with all the make-up, you could tell that Duo had burnt his face and hands with cigarettes.  
  
That is were I got the idea. That is why I'm here, burning off this ugly skin that covers my pathetic soul. My soul is much to perfect for this body. The more I burn it, the uglier it gets. I must release my soul of this stack of bones and flesh.  
  
I'm going to burn this skin and free my soul...Nataku...no, Meilan...my wife, I am not worthy to be your widower. You never even excepted me as your husband...am I that insignificant?  
  
Burn in hell, Chang Wufei. 


End file.
